Over the past few weeks, I’ve been coaching several senior leaders who, on paper, have absolutely no reason to doubt themselves. They’re experienced, knowledgeable and trusted. Many lead teams, influence strategy, manage significant budgets and make important decisions every day.
Yet when they walk into certain rooms, something changes.
It might be a Board meeting, a stakeholder presentation, a room filled with peers, or a conversation with someone they perceive to be more senior, influential or important than they are. Suddenly, the self-assurance they carry in their day-to-day role begins to wobble. They start overthinking. They become more conscious of how they’re coming across. Their attention shifts away from the conversation itself and onto their own performance.
That’s often where things begin to unravel.
What fascinates me is that this almost never happens because they lack expertise. In fact, the opposite is usually true. The people who struggle most with this tend to be highly conscientious professionals who care deeply about doing a good job. They prepare thoroughly, hold themselves to high standards, and genuinely want to contribute. The challenge isn’t competence. The challenge is what happens when the stakes rise.
When we perceive a situation as important, many of us stop trusting what we know and start judging how we’re performing. We monitor every sentence, edit ourselves in real time and soften points that should have been landed clearly. We become cautious precisely when clarity is needed most.
The irony is that the room is rarely questioning our expertise as much as we are. Most people aren’t sitting there analysing every word. They’re looking for signals. Do you seem clear? Do you seem grounded? Do you appear confident in your own thinking?
This is why I think executive presence is so often misunderstood. It isn’t necessarily charisma, confidence or commanding energy. In my experience, it’s something much simpler than that. It’s the ability to remain connected to your thinking when the pressure rises. It’s trusting your own expertise when the stakes feel high. It’s speaking from what you know rather than from what you fear.
The leaders who consistently create impact in senior rooms aren’t always the most confident people in the room. More often, they’re the people who have learned not to abandon themselves when nerves show up. They understand that nerves are a normal human response to situations that matter. The difference is that they don’t allow those nerves to dictate their behaviour.
The question isn’t whether nerves appear. They will.
The question is what you do next.
Do you shrink, soften and retreat from the conversation? Or do you continue to contribute from the experience, insight and judgement that earned you a seat at the table in the first place?
For me, that’s often the difference between being present in the room and truly owning it.
If you want a quick, honest snapshot of how your voice and presence are currently landing, take my 2-minute Speak Proud Authority Assessment.
It will show you where you are already strong, and where one small shift could make the biggest difference.
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Lisa Sheerin, ICF PCC Executive Coach | Transforming Confidence, Communication & Leadership
Lisa works as an executive public speaking coach, actor, and group fitness instructor with over 20 years of experience. A graduate of a three-year drama school program in London, she began her career in theatre and film, where she faced and overcame imposter syndrome. Today, she empowers others to embrace their authenticity and transform self-doubt into confidence, combining her acting expertise, fitness training, and passion for personal growth. Her mission is to guide others toward a life where they can speak and live proudly.
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