Most people assume authority is built in the obvious moments: the presentation, the keynote, the board meeting, the panel.
Those moments do matter, of course, but I don’t think they are where authority is most strongly shaped.
More often, it is won or lost in the less glamorous, less rehearsed moments that happen around them: when someone interrupts you, when you need to disagree, when a senior person challenges you, or when you feel that flicker of pressure and instinctively start softening what you really mean.
That is the part of communication I have been thinking about this week, because it comes up constantly in my work.
A lot of people imagine they need to become more polished, more charismatic, or more “executive” in some vague, performative way. In reality, what usually makes the biggest difference is much more practical than that.
It is how you behave when the conversation becomes slightly uncomfortable.
This is where many very capable people lose authority without realising it. Not because they lack expertise, and not because they are not ready for the room, but because pressure changes their delivery.
They start cushioning their point, over-explaining it, smiling too quickly, or giving the floor away before they have actually landed what they wanted to say.
Nothing dramatic happens, but the overall effect is that the room experiences them as less certain than they really are.
A simple example is interruption.
When someone cuts across you, the instinct is often to do one of two things: either retreat completely and wait for another opening, or come back in with more force than the moment really needs.
Neither tends to work well.
Usually, the strongest response is the cleanest one:
“Let me finish that thought.”
It resets the room, holds your place, and lets you continue without sounding flustered or aggressive. It is a small adjustment, but it changes the way you are experienced.
The same is true of disagreement.
A lot of people are so keen not to sound difficult that they soften their point until it almost disappears. They spend so long cushioning the disagreement that the room barely registers that they have a different view at all.
A much better approach is to acknowledge what is true and then say what you think plainly:
“I can see why that sounds sensible. My concern is…”
It lowers the emotional temperature without weakening your position.
This is why I keep coming back to the same idea: strong communication is not about becoming louder or harder. It is about staying clear and steady when the moment gets slightly more difficult.
That is what people trust.
Not perfection, not polish, and not the longest answer in the room. They trust the person who can hold their ground without becoming defensive, and who can make a point without talking it into the ground.
If this is an area you know you want to strengthen, I have just launched a new Speak Proud Executive Presence Assessment.
It takes a couple of minutes and gives you a clear picture of how your communication currently lands, particularly in moments when pressure and visibility are highest.
https://speakproud.scoreapp.com/
Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info!
Lisa Sheerin, ICF PCC Executive Coach | Transforming Confidence, Communication & Leadership
Lisa works as an executive public speaking coach, actor, and group fitness instructor with over 20 years of experience. A graduate of a three-year drama school program in London, she began her career in theatre and film, where she faced and overcame imposter syndrome. Today, she empowers others to embrace their authenticity and transform self-doubt into confidence, combining her acting expertise, fitness training, and passion for personal growth. Her mission is to guide others toward a life where they can speak and live proudly.
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